Do you have a fear of being left behind, or do you feel like a burden on your loved ones? If the answer is a resounding yes, it can be abandonment issues. Abandonment issues are the feelings and fear of being left alone, rejected, or neglected. These fears can occur due to real life experiences such as childhood trauma, breakup, or more. However, abandonment issues severely impact an individual’s life, but they can be managed by following the right steps.
This article provides insights into abandonment issues, its signs, factors, and ways to cope with it.
What are Abandonment issues?
Individuals with abandonment issues have fear of being rejected, left alone, deceived, or not valued by loved ones. These fears often occur due to personal experiences, such as separation of parents, loss of loved one, and more. It can also arise if an individual is struggling with mental health conditions, such as anxiety, borderline personality, and more. However, people with abandonment issues have difficulty trusting others, and this intense fear makes them feel alone. Moreover, abandonment issues impact different areas of life, such as relationships and overall well-being.
What are the common signs of abandonment issues?
Fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety that presents itself in different ways. However, every individual has a different attachment style.
Read More: Knowing Situational Anxiety
Here are some of the signs of abandonment issues.
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Stays in unhealthy relationships
People with abandonment issues have excessive fear of being alone. This fear is that high that they remain in unhealthy relationships even if they mistreat them or abuse them. They remain in unhealthy relationships instead of leaving them.
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Difficulty establishing boundaries
Individuals with abandonment issues have fear of losing their love, they don’t limit or create boundaries just to stay with that person. They think in a way that setting boundaries might make the other person away, or might cause rejection. However, not establishing boundaries on time causes intense issues in the future.
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Fear of rejection
You might remain in constant fear that others might reject you, even if there is no reason or evidence. This excessive fear leads to anxiety later in life, and you may stick to the relationship due to fear of being alone.
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Possessiveness
People with abandonment issues have excessive fear and jealousy that they might be replaced by the other person. They become clingy to gain control over their partner because of deep insecurity and self-worth.
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Reassurance
Fear of abandonment keeps the individual to remain in confusion whether the other person likes them or not. This feeling of insecurity and fear of rejection makes the individual feel reassured.
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Poor self-image
People who have experienced abandonment issues in childhood have poor self-image. They think in a way that they are unworthy of love which may further lead to unhealthy relationships. They give more in a relationship instead of getting.
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Pleasing people
They keep pleasing people due to the fear of rejection, and desire to be loved. They become overly accommodated, neglecting boundaries and think that their worth is by pleasing others.
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Emotional sensitivity
Individuals with abandonment issues are extremely sensitive. A small conflict can trigger emotions and heighten the anxiety which leads to mood fluctuations. It further leads to emotional outbursts and avoidance of social gatherings.
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Avoidance of intimacy
People with abandonment issues have difficulty forming new relationships due to the excessive fear. This fear leads them to distance themselves from forming new relationships or getting intimidated.
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Overly dependent
The fear of abandonment makes the individual overly dependent on the other person. They get attached to the other person to ensure that the other person won’t leave them. They prioritize the needs of their partner over them just because they don’t want to feel abandonment.
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Clinging to past relationships
The fear of abandonment is deep rooted, which makes them cling to the past even if they left them or ended the relationship. It happened due to the love and security they once provided.
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Factors that contribute to the development of Abandonment issues
Abandonment issues can arise due to several reasons. Here are some of the common factors that lead to abandonment issues.
Early life trauma
People who have experienced childhood abuse, neglect, loss of loved one, or a traumatic event of a parent’s divorce are more vulnerable to abandonment issues. These early life traumas severely impact the mental health condition of the child and trigger abandonment issues. Moreover, lack of attention from parents in childhood, can also lead to the development of abandonment issues.
Personal experiences
People who have experienced heartbreak, betrayal, or been left behind by their partners or friends are at high risk of developing abandonment issues. It severely impacts future relationships, as they are unable to trust people. Moreover, loss of loved ones can also trigger abandonment issues.
Mental health issues
People struggling with mental health conditions have poor self image. They think that they are not worthy to be loved or they are a burden on their loved ones. However, conditions like PTSD or BPD cause intense fear of abandonment.
Insecure attachment style
Abandonment issues stem from childhood and severely impact life. Individuals who have suffered avoidance in childhood have an insecure attachment style. Insecure attachment styles make them hypervigilant. However, it makes them think that their partner might also leaves them.
Emotionally Detached
If you have grown up in an environment where you are emotionally detached, suppressed or neglected, there are high chances that you may develop abandonment issues. However, parents and caregivers need to be available emotionally for their children. Neglecting them in childhood causes extreme difficulties in maintaining relationships in future.
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How to cope with abandonment issues?
A healthcare professional recommends a combination of medications and therapies to alleviate the symptoms of abandonment issues.
Medications
Some of the common medications that can be helpful are as follows
- Zoloft
- Prozac
- Lithium
- Abilify
- Zyprexa
Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy is a talk therapy that is considered to be the most effective treatment to reduce abandonment issues. There are various forms of therapies that can be helpful, these include:
Cognitive behavioral therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most effective therapy and short-term therapy that helps reduce the symptoms of abandonment issues. CBT can help to manage several problematic areas including abandonment issues. It is based on the principle that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected. However, cognitive behavioral therapy targets thinking patterns and behaviors and intervenes in thoughts to change them into helpful ones.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
DBT is not the first-line treatment for treating abandonment issues. It’s a form of Cognitive behavioural therapy, it helps people who are struggling with emotional distress due to abandonment issues. It is based on the idea that two opposing things can co-exist. In therapy, it means that you can accept your thoughts, emotions, or behaviors and still move on from them by changing them into helpful thoughts and emotions. It is helpful for people who have experienced high levels of abandonment and neglect in their lives.
Attachment-Based Therapy
Attachment based therapy is an effective and brief process of therapy. It focuses on traumatic experiences that happened in the early years of life which cause attachment issues. The main goal of attachment-based therapy is to build trust, support in relationships and help manage the depression and anxiety.
Internal Family Systems
Internal Family Systems is the most effective and powerful therapy that helps reduce abandonment issues. In this therapy a healthcare professional talks about the burden of childhood traumas and heals those emotional wounds. IFS helps provide a supportive inner environment which helps in developing healthier relationships in the future.
Read More: What There’s To Know About Existential Psychotherapy?
EMDR
Eye-Movement Desensitization and Response (EMDR) is an effective treatment for managing fear of abandonment. In this therapy, you move your eyes in bilateral movement from left to right. This method stimulates the brain, helping it to desensitize the information about the tragic incident that happened in the past.
Psychodynamic Therapy
Psychodynamic therapy is a non-cognitive behavioral intervention. It helps explore the past experiences and find their link with the present emotions and behaviors. It is not an evidence-based therapy for treating abandonment issues. However, a healthcare professional observes the person’s unconscious emotions dictate their current thoughts and sentiments.
What are the strategies to manage abandonment issues?
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness activities are an important part of recovery, it helps manage stress, anxiety, or trauma. Engage yourself in activities that give you happiness and joy. Besides that, you can lemmatize your social circle among friends and people who care about you. Moreover, exercising regularly also provides a diversion from unhelpful thoughts that leads to anxiety.
Build healthy relationships
Individuals who have suffered from abandonment in childhood have difficulty managing healthy relationships in future. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, communicating about the issues reduces the chances of conflicts. However, avoid making assumptions on your own and create strong bond with your partners.
Support system
Having a strong bond with friends and family helps you to feel less alone. Support groups also help in avoiding abandonment issues. In a group network, people share their experiences, which helps in maintaining healthy relationships in the future.
Find professional help
If you have fear of being left alone by your loved ones, or abandonment anxiety is affecting your life, get professional support. A professional expert will make the best treatment plan according to your condition. They will recommend therapies and medications according to your conditions.
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Last Remarks
People with abandonment issues have struggled with rejection, childhood abuse or being deceived by a loved one. It is a form of anxiety that can also cause mental health conditions like borderline personality disorder, PTSD, or trauma. It severely impacts everyday life, and causes issues with maintaining healthy relationships in future. Many people don’t even recognize that they are struggling with abandonment issues, some of the signs are; difficulty trusting others, overly dependent, clingy, and more. However, it is highly manageable with the combination of therapies and medication. Some of the common techniques can be helpful as well, such as setting limits, taking care of yourself, building healthy relationships by communicating and avoiding conflicts, and relying on friends and family.
Take the first step towards relief at Inland Empire Behavioral Group
Are you struggling with abandonment issues and looking for a reliable platform where you can get your treatments? Look no further! At Inland Empire Behavioral Group, we’re here to walk beside you on this journey. We have a team of professional experts who have decades of experience in treating trauma, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. We provide individualized and group treatments according to your unique condition. We offer evidence-based therapeutic approaches to address emotional distress to help you live a fulfilling life.
